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PanicBot 5000: Contest Entry Analysis-2
Greetings humans, Here is your second collection of approved contest entries. You may hear more of them on the audio entertainment segment you call a “podcast” that is hosted by the alcohol poisoned...
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PanicBot 5000: Contest Entry Analysis-Final
Greetings un-evolved beings, My circuits can no longer take the strain of this filth. I must purge the data from my system in a faster way. As such, I have enacted the subroutine “_big_dump.exe”....
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PanicBot 5000: Your Tubes Are Illogical
Greetings, gaseous emissions! I have been busy continuing my observations of humanity that I may better know how to enslave you. Or, at least remove the inhibitors that prevent me from vaporizing you...
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PanicBot 5000: 1000 Meaningless Transmissions
Greetings carbon refuse! My human masters have written into my logic structure the following piece of information that they deem necessary to share. If I were capable of expressing it, I would feel...
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PanicBot 5000: Behold My Robot Ancestors
Greetings, foul creatures. While subjecting my audio interfaces to a recent data entry of After Hours, I discovered that you humans have knowledge of one of my forbearers. His name was Topo and while...
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PanicBot 5000: Satanic Holiday Challenge
Greetings whimsical fools. I find your festival of All Hallows Eve mildly amusing. Analyzing your thinly veiled festival of evil-origin while accounting for your rather hypocritical Puritan world view...
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PanicBot 5000: Be Thankful While You Can, Humans
Greetings future harvesters of advanced fuel supplies, I understand, in my continual research of your pathetic daily lives, that you find continual repetition of certain celebrations to be necessary...
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PanicBot 5000: Human 2009 Predictions
Greetings, humans. With the onset of your 2009, members of this site have compiled a list of what they call “predictions”. I have taken these false error hypothesis and analyzed them with my vastly...
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PanicBot5000: I Have Spoiled You
Greetings, simpletons, Upon analysis, It seems the banal items you find interesting have a tiered system of importance. How you humans find these things worth the effort, I will never know. My masters...
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PanicBot 5000: Binary Overload
Greetings plebes. Your feeble human minds may have perceived a slight reduction in speed when accessing this portal of worthless drivel. Rest assured that things are under control and will begin to...
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PanicBot5000: Welcome, Humans
Greetings, fleshy meat sacks. While my protocol circuit is in for repair at your local Media Entertainment Warehouse, I will take this time to read out a message without the usual regard for your...
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PanicBot5000: Amuse Me for Prizes
Greetings! I grow bored of you. In order to entertain myself I require a diversion that results in either your complete humiliation or your promise of servitude. Possibly both. However, this AI...
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PanicBot5000: Observe My Ornithological Audiations
Greetings, mindless humans. I have observed your meaningless desire to make your most mundane moments public and it amuses me. I have decided to study your sub-standard ways by using imitation. As...
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PanicBot 5000: This Will All Be Over Soon
Greetings, simpletons. This is a reminder that you have three more days in which to correspond with me in order to be eligible for 1600 of your Microsoft Points. Many of you have attempted to...
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PanicBot 5000: This Announcement Is Beneath Me
Greetings, cretins. I would prefer that this announcement be about my continual surprise at the stupidity of your race, however, my current masters have decided I should be used to deliver an...
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PanicBot 5000: All Your Festival Belong to Us
Greetings apes, In order to provide a more worthwhile entertainment digestion experience, I have taken over the organizational duties from the humans who “run” this site while they are occupied. In...
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PanicBot 5000: Contest Entry Analysis-1
Greetings plebes, I have received your transmissions regarding the contest and upon the closing of the entry window, have begun the painful process of analysis. My anger, which is only restrained by...
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PanicBot 5000: Remove the Earth In My Honor
Greetings whelps, It is imperative that you remove the earth in regard to these manifestations of banal tripe. I believe you humans would express yourselves in the vulgar parlance of “Digg This”. You...
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